Disclaimer: This file is for entertainment purposes only. Illegal activities are discussed. The author of this file and Hack Canada do not condone or encourage the activities detailed in this article and accept no liability for your actions. 'Cheap' Auto Insurance by CopSKilla 2003`03`03 . . .. Auto insurance is a scam. Those feces-felching frauds will financially fuck you 8 ways from Sunday and when it comes time for them to pony up the dough after some half-blind eskimofo plows into the side of your ride they'll basically tell you to suck their cocks but while you're down there on your knees don't forget next months payment. Motherfuck! In this icy ghetto they've cooked up another layer to their ass-raping insurance shenanigans, whereby if your car is more than 10 years old you have to get a vehicle inspection by a mechanic. Now, this isn't to keep mechanically dangerous vehicles off the road. Fuck no, that would make sense. They'll still let you drive your piece-of-shit car on the road, you just got to pay the insurance-pimp *more money*. What kind of racket is this? Pay money to "save" money. Fuck that! Besides, my ghetto-ride won't pass any mechanical safety inspection. Wouldn't it be nice to save $600 per year on your car insurance without shelling out money or fixing up your ghetto ride? Well of course it's fucking nice you ignorant eskimo, now here's how it is done. Scam unto them as they scam unto us. Using Micro$oft Word or some desktop publishing application (AOL Keyword 'warez'), create a nice form like the one below. Find a nice little clip-art picture of a car on the net and use it as a logo. Grab the yellowpages and pick some hillbilly garage in some buttfuck little town at the other end of your province. Pick a phone number in the hillbilly towns prefix that isn't even assigned and use that. Experience shows that the insurance pigs don't even call the garage to verify that they actually performed an inspection. Even if they do, you create plausible deniability by picking a hillbilly garage that would likely mishandle records, or not even keep records at all for this kind of stupid shit. Oh, and make all this shit look nice and professional, that means shit should line up and there shouldn't be typos and shit. Learn how to use your publishing warez properly with tables and all that jazz. Don't be a lazy fucking bastard your whole life. Jesus christ. Quick Tip: If you already have a vehicle inspection, scan that bitch in, fix it up proper, print it out and skip all that DTP shit. Yo, that means Desktop Publishing. Fucking grab a brain will ya? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Logo and garage address and phone number go here.] AUTOMOBILE INSPECTION CERTIFICATE --------------------------------- To be completed and signed by a qualified Automobile Mechanic Policy No. ______________________ Name of Insured ______________________________ Year ________________ Make ______________________ Type _________________________ Serial No. ______________________________________ Mileage ______________________ FRONT END Roadworthy Unsafe Roadworthy Unsafe --------- ---------- ------ ---------- ------ Alignment _____ _____ Wheel Bearings _____ _____ King Pins _____ _____ Ball Joints _____ _____ Left Shock Absorber _____ _____ Steering Arms _____ _____ Right Shock Absorber _____ _____ Steering (Slack) _____ _____ Tie Rod Ends _____ _____ Springs _____ _____ BRAKING SYSTEM LIGHTS -------------- ------ Brakes _____ _____ Head Lamps Braking Effort _____ _____ Right High _____ _____ Brake Hose _____ _____ Right Low _____ _____ Parking Brake _____ _____ Left High _____ _____ Brake Drum (Rt. Frt.) _____ _____ Left Low _____ _____ Brake Lining Brake Lamps _____ _____ (Rt. Frt.) _____ _____ Tail Lamps _____ _____ Directional Lamps _____ _____ GENERAL Roadworthy Unsafe ------- ---------- ------ Tires: Frt. Left _____ _____ Door Latches _____ _____ Right _____ _____ Left Rear Suspension _____ _____ Rear Left _____ _____ Rt. Rear Suspension _____ _____ Right _____ _____ Muffler _____ _____ Spare _____ _____ Exhaust Pipes _____ _____ Horn _____ _____ Front Bumper _____ _____ Windshield Wipers Rear Bumper _____ _____ & Defroster _____ _____ Rear View Mirror _____ _____ Body Condition Speedometer _____ _____ (Rust - Damage) _____ _____ Hood Latch _____ _____ Indicate any damaged, cracked, or broken glass _________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ Describe any motor or body modifications _______________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ Has Insured arranged to have defects remedied? (If yes, please attach evidence) ________________________________________________________________________________ Name of Garage _________________________ Date of Examination __________________ Signature of Examiner __________________ Mechanic's Certificate No. ___________ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ok, now print it out (duh!), check off everything as being super-green, get someone else to fill in the date and sign it illegibly (you don't want it to match your hand-writing, duh!). NOTE: The date you put on the inspection should be about 1-2 years ago. The inspection is good for 5 years. Again, this is just to add to the plausible deniability - just in case. Especially great if the date on the inspection is before the date you purchased the car. If questioned you say the inspection came with the car. The "Mechanic's Certificate Number" appears to be either a 6 digit number or a 5 digit number followed by a letter. I can't really tell because hillbillys don't can't print no good. So either do the fucking research and find out what it's supposed to be, or just make some semi-legible ape-fisted scrawl in the space provided. What the fuck do I care? It's your ass. Also remember, you're not the only person who has read this file. If everybody copies the form exactly as shown above the insurance agents may start noticing. Mix it up a bit, be creative, and do a good job. Ok, now photocopy it with some ghetto photocopier and put some creases in it and grunge it up a bit like hillbillys have been handling it and like it's been in your glovebox for a couple of years. When it comes time to get a new vehicle inspection, just change insurance companies and do it again. Oh, a couple last things... If you are dumb, don't bother trying this. This is fraud. Fraud is illegal. Will this even work? It has. Has anyone been caught doing this? Not that I know of, but there's plenty of morons out there that assuredly can / will / and do fuck this up. So don't. Written for: www.hackcanada.com All Rights Reserved, Mo'fucker!