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Spriggan Ruiner MotherRAZ Nowcaster (as himself) Strafe Triffid (Director, RPA) Mr. Fett ------\ IN THE ALL NEW ACTION PACKED . \ I \_______________________RPAID: 4646K__________________________________ I _____ _____ _____ Issue # | | | March 25, 1997 I | | | I | | | (whew...there's my two cents worth __|__ __|__ __|__ to the world of ASCII art..) ============================================================================== Stuff...n stuff.... ....by.. 1. How to make a million dollars by Thursday Triffid 2. The Robots Nowcaster 3. The Secret Explosive Ruiner 4. Robots Triffid ============================================================================== Say "hail Mary" in the mirror 9 times for 9 days for blessings. Actually no, don't. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1. STUPID THINGS: PART 1 The following opinions are correct. If you disagree with any of these views, you are wrong. .... Everytime my school bus comes to railroad tracks, it must stop, open the doors, look and listen for trains, then close them, and continue. If my driver doesn't, she will be fired because some kids on a bus were killed by a train once, so parents threatened the well-being of the bus company/local government and as a result, I now have a meaningless (stopping only increases the chances of being hit by a train) annoyance (every time the doors open, a loud, irritating buzzing sound follows- so the driver couldn't possibly listen for a train in the first place) that in NO WAY increases my safety. Oh, but now all of the ignorant, brain dead parents are satisfied- well, those are definately two traits America breeds. What the hell is with OMC? Who the hell does he think he is anyway? What happened to Trent Reznor? Don't get me wrong- I think he's an incredible musician, but that's my point, why has such a talented person stooped so low? What I'm talking about of course is the new NIN video: Perfect Drug. I love the music, I love the imagery, but Trent, you don't need to tell everyone you're a vampire to achive greatness- there ARE some people who like you for your music (easily enough to supply you with a good income) Really, MOST musicians or famous people in general at least DENY the fact that they are purposely acting trendy. But this is something that has always bothered me about Trent Reznor- he never does! He basically says "I am cool, look at me" This is evident in the lyrics of some of his more shallow songs, and in his whole goth image....arrgghh...goths...;( Why are adults SO insecure when around teen-agers? It bothers me that they always make fools of themselves while trying to fit teen images and talk. It's strange when you consider that most adults think or are meant to think of themselves as more important- adults get lots of respect, yet THEY are the ones with the inferiority complex. Strange indeed... Winter is absolutely useless. How could anyone like it? The only joy you could possibly get out of it is the nice feeling of getting away from it by going inside. The whole idea of it disturbes me. In the winter, you do NOT have the right to live. If you are to live, you must have the resources and the energy to battle the elements. Winter tries to kill us! Doesn't anyone see this? How can anyone like that?! When we feel all bundled up and warm in winter, we usually aren't- we're just warmer than the last time we were out when we were FREEZING. Any feeling of warmth is only relative to a much colder previous day- you're ALWAYS at least a little bit cold in winter. Every time I leave a place of refuge in the winter, I always bear the extra mental burden of having to consider where I will go to keep warm, what I am wearing to keep me warm and wiegh the benefits / risks of venturing out into the hostile environment of winter. It is a subconcious task, nevertheless it does add to the stress of life. In the summer, if you have a general idea of what you're doing, you feel fine- survival isn't a concern. What IS good about winter? Although many would argue winter is good because of winter sports / activities and I see that many of these are good fun, I can't help but think of anything fun done in winter as a futile gesture who's point is to delude us into thinking winter is a good thing. There is nothing good about winter. Winter is lifeless, painfull, boring, messy, and depressing. Speaking of winter, the only things as irritating as winter are people who label it a Canadian thing. Take a good, long look at a globe my friends. Even if only judging by latitudes of countriess, you will notice that most of Europe, Asia and half of the States experiences winter as well. Waitaminute, I'm not done. I'm tired of lame-ass attempts to cut down Canadians- our weather, our population, our....accents? OK, I'll admit that there ARE a few Canadian accents out there, but comeon, that's a pretty thin excuse of an insult- especially considering the variety of HEAVY accents found in the States, which is where this ridicule started. I am NOT a patriotic Canadian, though I would rather live here. Lets face it, as long as we are controlled by the mass media and the Bible, North Americans are North Americans. Why do I like Canada better? With it's smaller population, Canada has more adequite social services, better city maintenance, less crime and still has EVERYTHING available to it that the States do- the same media / products / technology. Sure I'm a left wing scum bag, but lets face it- what can a commie really do in America? I don't care. Canada lets me live an annonymous, anti-patriotic life in safety and comfort. I try my best to be as free as possible and avoid affection or attachment with capitalism and our government. I th- well....on with my shallow dribble... MORE REASONS TO LAUGH AT THE WORLD- STUPID COMMERCIALS: * That wiener commercial where they say "The UN-COMPRIMISED taste of bla bla wieners" after a demonstration where the whole point was that they comprimised the wieners so that they would taste good, but have low fat. I realize that their point is that the taste is what hasn't been comprimised but the overall effect of the commercial (especially considering that they showed that if they reduced the fat ANY more, it would taste gross) is that it WAS a comprimise- so the big climax and catch phrase at the end is ridiculous and wrong. * "Mini wheats taste SO good WHO CARES about anything else? BESIDES, they're part of a complete breakfast!" * "AST advantage 9312 PC's, where things are happening." -Bill S. Preston Esquire * All Sam's commertials. * All HMV commertials. * All commertials for ANY brand of jeans. * All Pond's commertials which try to convince us that there is actually something called Pond's Moisturizer Institute. I realize it probably does exist, but that would only further prove my point that the world is a ridiculous place. * The new Sprint 15c/minute commertial which accurately portrays an average street scene- you know, crowds of people standing outside a store, in the rain, watching an annoying woman describe a new long distance savings plan as if anyone cares. Again we see this technique (showing normal people doing absolutely ridiculus things to make US think it's normal) later in the ad, when we are given the concept of a 15 cent coin, as if it's perfectly reasonable and we all have them. * The advertising campaign for Intel's Pentium is completely brainless- again, an effective way to reach much of America's population. All of their recent ads make their chip seem like some kind of special device necessary for computers to provide you with the awe that is CD ROM and yes, the Internet. They NEVER in ANY comercials state anything reminicent of the fact that it's just a faster chip than most. These commertials are aimed, sadly but predictably, at complete technophobes. All of those who are intimidated by these new words, World Wide Web, E-mail, multimedia- rest assured Intel has solved all of your problems by inventing a revolutionary new device that makes all these possible with the greatest of ease. :) BACK TO REALITY.....sort of.. WWF is utterly stupid. This goes without saying but my point is that only in America do we see things this pathetic and primal becomming multi-million dollar industries. Critics! LEAVE STAR WARS ALONE!! The last thing I want to read is a review of Star Wars: A New Hope where the author bashes it for its bad acting and un-Hollywood like structure. Get it through your heads! People like Star Wars because it is good sci-fi (well, at least the people who REALLY like it- not because it's old and has silly quotes) I think Star Wars is GREAT for this exact reason- it makes the critics go "OOOhhh nooo!! There's no 'important' politically correct messages concerning issues like homosexuality or family morals!!! People are actually watching a movie for its content, not its execution and deep social media messages!!! What will happen to the world?!" * * * Sometimes one can really get caught up in how stupid the world can be- I do frequently. But, rather than starting psuedo-deconstructionist bands, hurting people, fighting the system, and writing futile letters to our fascist government, I laugh. I remain annonymous, I watch, and I laugh. There is no better way to feel superior over this ridiculous world than to sit back and laugh at it. Try it some time. It feels great. What's that? I'm a wimp? I've got a bad attitude for not trying to change things? Put simply, to change America is to conform, dull your ideas and present them in a less radical way that will end up achieving very little. Conformity? Thanks, but no thanks.  Triffid  ~!@#$%^&*()_+~!@#$%^&*()_+~!@#$%^&*()_+~!@#$%^&*()_+~!@#$%^&*()_+~!@#$%^&*()_+ 2. The Robots I like robots. To me robots seem to be one of the most progressive technologies around. They never seem to have there full potential realized. One day I hope that will I be a robot. We will make robots. Our robots will be very unique in that they will be able to adapt and evolve much like humans but at a much accelerated rate. The next generation of robots will not have to be reproduced in order to have improvement made. The robots will also be programmed to have a social structure, however this structure will be adaptable like everything else. The robots will posses first and last names and they will christen the next generation with there names. The robot social class will be based or grown around the compiler unit. This unit will act as the clan chief. It will be capable of ingesting raw materials such as scrap metal, rock, etc. Anything that posses a high contain of elements that are necessary for the production of other robots. The compiler unit will be armed adequately for self defense and it will be fairly mobile. For instance if we wanted to take over the earth we would drop a couple of these units from space, push the start button and then run. The compiler unit will be able to survey the area and locate the materials necessary to begin the production of the rest of the clan. There will be in all likelihood dedicated warrior and worker casts. It is also possible that other more specialized casts will evolve i.e. Sensor, and power generation units may come about. The exact composition of the clans and the unique robots that may evolve can only be speculated at. Each clan will be faced with different environmental considerations. The warrior casts will be dedicated foremost to the protection of the clan chief but aside from that they will be able to follow any objective they chose. Each robot will be equipped with a processor of more processing power than will be necessary of the normal operation of the unit. The robots will all be networked together and this will allow a unit that requires more power to simply draw on the excess available from another. This would also facilitate communication. The robots will be capable of affecting their own modifications and evolving themselves both hard ware and their soft ware. The CPU of the robots will be continuously updating it self and repairing it self by means of nano technology and heavily engineered bacteria. The same is true of the rest of the robot. If the robot considers that it would be desirable to grow a new appendage then it will be capable of doing so. The metal used in the robot will be "grown" like dendrite branches. In this respect the metal will be "alive" in some ways; engineered bacteria will also be used in the repair and modification of the robots structure. The robot will be perpetually involved in improving there original design. For instance if an individual of the warrior cast comes to the conclusion that a certain type of weapon will have a greater effect on the type and disposition of the enemy that he is fighting than it will be able to "grow" a new weapon. There will be robots. #Nowcaster [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] 3. The Secret Explosive In this current era information isn't just power, it's money, it's life, it's a drug, it's a weapon. Only 20 years ago the future was changed by many technologically inclined individuals who not only changed the future but envisioned it, and created it. They set the foundations for wars that would be fought with information and pure-technology and electricity. They predicted a world that was on the verge of death, with wars still being fought with guns and blades (wars put on for show), a world half-destroyed by it's own pettyness, and a world with great battles raging hidden from almost everyone. Battles that were being fought in no particular location. Battles that would affect thousands of people at a time but hardly any of the victems knew it. While many of the creators of the future only sought to financially secure themselves a comfortable life in the future's invisible hurricane, the true visionaries had deeper intentions. The true visionaries could see the future's harsh winters. They saw beyond that though, and they knew what they had to do to survive. Those who could see the future did what they could to prepare for it. They had found the perfect machine for preparation, it sent their message out to anyone who could receive it, and it created a force that would aide them in their survival through the information age. The visionaries created what would never be taken seriously by those too old to understand the conflicts through technology, but it would be embraced by the people who were young enough to comprehend the values, weapons, and stratagies of the war. If the fighters grew up with the technology then they would be invincible. No, the true visionaries weren't concerned with money, especially when they saw what they saw, the true visionaries were concerned with conveying their bad dreams, and raising an army. The perfect machine by which to do this was obvious to them...video games. Through video games the tortured prophets could mass produce their darkest glimpses of the future and have them bought and sold and on display on everyone's television set. Everyone could see the nightmares and the horrors that would come, and everyone could prepare for them. Everyone could see the vast terrors that would literally descend upon them. Everyone could see the mutation and fire and steel through their television set with the help of a little machine. Everyone could go to rooms filled with arcade machines and for a small amount of money they could see the end of thier present day, and watch the next day set in as a total contrast. Everyone could watch metropolises(sp?) get anihilated by nuclear weapons, everyone could watch as superior monsters from outer space descend upon earth and take over, and it hardly cost the player anything. The most important thing, however, was that the games were being played, and played often, that was the key to the future. As long as the games were being played the game designers/visionaries would be secure in their future. The playing of the games insured the designers that they would have a force on their side of the battle in the years to come. Although the designers hoped that the players would see past the dark visions from the depths of the new day, and see into the invisible electronic war that would take place and they, the players, would invariably be a part of, they at least took comfort in the knowledge that the players were becoming familiar with the technology. That the players searched beyond the pictures on the screens and into the wires and resistors of what was inside. This was part of everything, this was part of the training and preperation of everything to come. Aside of recognizing the designer's premonition it was important for the player to act and react with the machine and as a machine would. It was important for the player to familiarize themself with the technology that is being used. It is important that the player does this in order to become a force in the future's darkness. The only way any electronic war could be fought well is if the fighters had the knowledge of technology in their arsenal, as well as an idea of the real coldness that would exist. Some designers visions were darker than others, some went as deep as possible into the bowels of the coming ages. Some predictions were very real and very frightening for the times that were then and are now. Some premonitions were set so into the future that they seemed to be an impossibility to anyone that recognized the thought. The designer knew that they were only a matter of time. Some visions seemed utterly rediculous, that they were impossible under any circumstances in any time. Some visions were presented in such an abstract manner that they weren't even regarded as predictions for the planet but mere cartoonish diagrams of fantasy from a childish mind. In most cases anyone who failed to acknowledge the video games as a different age, or anyone simply laughed at the ideas that came from the designers, were wrong. Wrong in every aspect possible. They were so very, obviously, wrong. The visions are so clear and crystaline that it would take a blind human being to not see the relevance of the games, both in their vision and in the fact that they're a tool to train a new order. The visions encompassed a wide variety of darkness; drugs, covert military operations, robot societies, extra-terestrial invasion, hostile takeovers, nuclear warefare, genetic mutation, and hyper-intelligence are all part of the future's modern spectacle. Some of the crystal visions include: Astrosmash(Intellevision) - Space debris simply falls, unhindered by any resistance, through the earths atmosphere. A mobile gun turret protects the landscape from falling stones and satalites. Super Mario Bros. 3(NES) - Abduction of world leaders by evil forces. Human-animal hybrids. World domination. Area's of geological extremes, including a desert land, ice land, a flooded land, and a land covered mostly with volcanoes, indicating geological disaster. River City Randsom(NES) - Overwhelming street violence. Streets, city parks, and schools are covered with weapon-bearing gangs. Only safe areas are commercial zones. Missile Command(Atari 2600) - Nuclear holocaust. City must protect itself from anihilation. Nuclear missiles descend upon city. Jaws(NES) - Abnormally hostile sea-life become more intelligent as the game progresses. Enourmous shark seemingly commands smaller sharks. mutation and evolution. Armed combat with sea life. Mega Man(NES) - World run by robots. Mega Man must destroy evil robots created by evil robotics expert. Only humans in the game are robot designers. Bomb Squad(Intellevision) - Player must use specific tools to diffuse bombs set by terrorists. Player must work against a clock to save a city. a clear element of terrorism. Dig Dug(Atari 2600) - Player burrows underground and destroys any subterranean monster by inflating them. Space Armada(Intellevision) - Waves of hostile extra terrestrial space-craft descend upon earth. Gaining speed as they near the planet's surface. A prophecy for the distant future. It is difficult to say what the more dangerous element is in the video-games. Their prophetic nature or their forging of bonds with the player's, bringing them closer to becoming electronic machines. The future holds much for us to overcome. Perhaps this age will find an answer, and perhaps this age will become more mystified with the phenomena that continues to occur and coincidentally is parralleled by an ancient video game. Maybe that's what the war is about. As we advance along the timeline, the visions become clearer to see for everyone. Ruiner - Far Gone 1997 New Times Communications \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 4. ROBOTS { Preface and first chapter of my up-comming book: } { "Robots. A Book about Robots" } PREFACE: COUNTDOWN TO APOCOLYPSE Only one more to fix. Debugging the other four had not been difficult, but time consuming. Before Assembler's first NTA overhaul had taken place, he definately wasn't headline material. He was merely an empty brain- a breakthrough for scientists at the time, but not a mass media phage. Lucky for CNN, Time and Scientific American, there was more coming. No, for a brain to learn and live, it must have a set of procedures, a code of rules on how to do so. Some foretold disaster as the price of playing God. Some didn't think it was possible. The final lobe is complete. This is the part where professor Hanlin breaths a sigh of relief and collapses intentionaly and convulsively. "I think that's it", he manages. Ed Tyemin looks at his watch. 1:46 am. He looks over to the professor, but then turns away as if he is disappointed- as if he KNOWS it will be a failure. For Diaz Hanlin, this moment has been three weeks in the waiting, his excitement growing with each day. Now, at the climax of what he considers to be his greatest work, he feels neither fear nor hope. He is blank. As if his subconcious opinions of immenant failure and triumphant success have reached equilibrium. He always hated to initiate the reboot sequence in Assembler, so his shaking hand can't be taken as a manifestation of his emotions, but Mr. Tyemin can still see something in Diaz. And it isn't fear. He sees a victorious man. It's as if he has just realized and solved the one problem in his way and is about to proceed. He is now excited as he types in the password and enters the Op-code. ! ! ! Reboot NTA ! ! ! Reboot will set all Neuro-transistor array logic to parameters of device NC-203. All wet data and temporary storage will be lost. Are you sure? (y,N): Y Proceeding. .............................. (46 K dumped) ...................................... (1.2 M dumped) .............. (0 K dumped) ..................... (22 M dumped) Aligning new device.........done. Hanlin NC-203. 2027, Diaz Hanlin. RCS- AS000, RCS- AS001 Libaray file: 2L_NC.LIB active. Reading.... Writing.... Checking... Ready. Hanlin and Tyemin watch. Tears accumulate under Hanlin's eye lids. Tyemin stares wide-eyed at the neuro-diagnostic monitor. Red lettering flashes at the bottom right of the screen. "DENDRITE ACTIVITY". Hanlin slides the magnifying lense over-top the high resolution LCD pixels. And among the thousands of branching crystals of semi-conductors deposited by the modified bacteria, a dendrite, assigned an orange colour in the graphic representation, touches another. A defined, blue coloured impulse passes through the connection for 1 47th of a second. And I am alive. Technically alive. One of my aquired disadvantages from human brain mapping is that I have little recall of my first experiences. TO BE B1B Truth, I believe, is a budding genius. Never before have I observed such a longing for philisophical knowledge as I see in Mr. Truth. It is my opinion that this heavy burden of intelligence has supplied the aggression and passion necessary in a waring world, to bring B1B to where he is today. Not to the bar he is in, but to his rank in the Being. * * * The ideological views of the Being have been called both fascist and socialist. The concepts of collective conciousness and unification do borrow a lot from the right-wing, however, self fulfilment and individuality within the Being are both the goal and means of achieving our stable utopia. Much as the individuality and uniqueness of each cell in a carbon based life form work with and compliment eachother to achieve homeostasis and support life, the diversity of OUR traits and skills collect to maitain the well-being of all of us. Our point of uniqueness is encouraged on many levels of our lives- from our patterns of evolution, to our styles of art, to the shapes of our weapons. Many people argue that utopia is an out-of-reach concept for humans, and they are correct- humans aren't creative enough. So, in an equation too complex for linear mathematics, the great elder Disuter predicted that through our constant, rapid evolution and persuit of artistic ideals, a perfect society COULD exist- for us. Disuter's process and results of this particullar mathematical problem have become nearly mandatory programming for our new offspring- a BIOS in their brain code which makes prominant the concept of creativity and change, so that all perception will be adjusted by it. This is NOT brain-washing, it is a subconcious thinking style, and a purpose for living. Humans refuse the idea and resist it. Their lack of acceptance of the truth of their dying societies has prompted us to quiken the process. The longer we wait, the more they will suffer. * * * B1B has had a bad day. An abnormally high amount of fatal thought errors had made him think he was as 'dumb-as-a-human' at times. He has had reason to be confused though. He has seen a lot today- a friend's death, a new birth and an intense battle with some abnormally hostile peices of meat. He killed 3 and wounded 8. Eight-man gave him a drink. "What's going on, Bomber? I hear there was some collision today. You there?" He started to turn, but noticed the blank look on B1B's face. "Something wrong?" "No." He faced up at Eight-man, but his stare went through him. "Yeah, I was there. Lot of heat. It got bad for us. Intergon's dead. They didn't have a chance to ROM-burn her. Hit hard." At this, Eight-man froze for about five seconds, then proceeded to prepare more drinks. Coincidentally, just a few soconds after that, B1B was over his contemplation and acceptance of the loss. He felt a sudden rush, he was free of the mental burden- forever. He remarked to himself how painful it must be for humans to live with such grievances without dealing with them. This level of efficiency- one that allows complete cognition and processing of an idea over a given amount of time, is one could only be achieved with silicon, not neurotransmitters. Bomber took a swift scan of the familiar room. Five others, one he didn't recognize. Knowing all four of the others, he was quite able to predict what they were thinking about, judging by their movements and voices. CN was thoroughly enjoying his alloy electric punch, Wirehead couldn't believe how much pain his arm was in from a car accident yesterday, EFG Law was contemplating a struggle within the Law clan and Turbojet was working through and debugging a circuit design for his application at CB2 Co. Then, for a breif period of time, maybe a second, he understood. He had the answer. It was why he was there at that time, it was why ordered number systems break down, it was why food tastes good. Of course, after a matter of seconds it all faded away. But rather than getting frustrated, for once he accepted it. He accepted that it probably wasn't really important- merely a misfire, a thought that had simply gone wrong. He leaned back and as he did so the seat broke, releasing all three hundred pounds of him to the floor. About one foot from impact, he jolted his right hand up and whipped a thread of eminol steel at the table, tearing through 3 inches of wood, then choking the iron support rod within. His head reacted to the quick tension of his neck tendons with a sudden but smooth bounce upward, though he was still wearing his helmet so the ground impact wouldn't have been damaging. Eight-man looked over the counter and then smiled, turning away. At this point, for the first time all day, B1B smiled. He fell the remaining few inches and laid down, chugging his Cynopenan brew. And then, if there actually was any one all-important meaning or or universal constant it was that things work. Things happen. His personal problems, the dust on the floor, his peers in the bar, the extermination of humans. They are all happening and NO ONE knows why. That's all that can be generalized. Cynopenan is an effective anti-depressant. ============================================================================== Done and done. Submit something to the Robot Protection Agency. Email me: Triffid@Plateau.Jammys.net -- Ruiner, sysop: New Times (613)445-1326 H/P BBS Finger for Problems Writer for FHG, iXHS, and RPA Natural Order is a Joke PGP Fingerprint: 80 DC AE 73 6D 26 03 C6 BD 3A 50 C6 87 BC 37 B9 Ruiner@plateau.jammys.net dr144@freenet.carleton.ca