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Is this better than a fantasy? Some strange hallucinatory dream, perhaps, reminiscent of an afternoon stroll through the winding streets of somewhere, nowhere? NO! It is reality! Reality! So snap to your senses, dammit, and join us in this trip called reality. Ree-al-it-EE! Get it? Grow up! Now that you're a tad bit sobered up, let me tell you a couple of things- HEY! Are you paying attention here, or what? Now listen up, ok? I don't want to have to slap you. I really don't want to have to slap you. I'm a pacifist, and besides, I'm afraid that you'll slap me back. I only talk to you like this because I love you. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ \"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._ _.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/ " " " " " " " """"" " " " " " " " _/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_ Transcripts of the Blackout by Jobe _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ \"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._ _.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/ " " " " " " " """"" " " " " " " " Intrepid Neo-Comintern crisis correspondent Jobe took to the streets of Toronto last Friday morning to get the lowdown on how the Blackout of 2003 was affecting its citizens, who were already hit hard by the SARS epidemic earlier this year. Here are some excerpts from his on-the-street interviews. (This paragraph is italicized.) -J & J Variety Store- Jobe: When did the power come back on here? Michael Jang (cashier): I believe it was sometime this morning... It was quite busy last night. We were still open and we ran out of ice, batteries, water, bread. It was like Y2K all over again. Jobe: Are people buying the same things today? MJ: Yeah, people are still constantly popping in asking for ice, faces I'd never seen, probably out-of-towners... It's kind of amazing. It's the 21st century. I figured they would have some sort of backup plan. Jobe: Let's be honest, you had your air conditioning on this morning, right? While us poor saps were still without power. MJ: No, actually, we didn't. We had a family dispute because everybody wanted it on. So I decided to come into the store, because it's a family-run store. But no, they wouldn't turn on the air conditioning in the store, but it's not that bad. Jobe: You're good citizens. MJ: I suppose, but if I were in charge, it might be different. I don't make the decisions. Frazzled man (poking head into the store): Do you have ice? MJ: No, we're sold out. Jobe: I've still got some ice in my drink here. How much you want to give me per cube? (Frazzled man walks out of the store without comment.) -No Frills grocery store- Jobe: Are these long lineups starting to tick you off? Simon Poirier (determined shopper): Yeah, but you gotta go with the flow. There's nothing you can do. It's not something you can change. You just have to accept it. Jobe: Have you ever seen anything like this at a grocery store before? SP: No. Hopefully we don't have to see it again either. Jobe: Are people getting a bit more feisty on the roads? SP: Yeah, very much so. I wanted to get gas but forget about that. A number of them are closed completely. The ones that are open, the lineups go on forever. Jobe: Have you seen anyone pushing their cars into the gas station because they ran out of gas? SP: No, but there was a confrontation up the road as I was coming here. I don't know what was going on. I just know I heard some horns blowing and one guy jumped out of his truck and ran up to another car and they had a few words. Jobe: Were people taking sides on who they wanted to win or anything? SP: Nah, it wasn't fisticuffs. It was just verbal, I think. Jobe: On days like this, is it worth fighting for oil and gas? SP: Nah, I don't think so. Jobe: Try telling that to George W. Bush, eh. SP (snickering): Yeah. Jobe: You think this blackout is bringing out the best or the worst in people? SP: Probably a combination. Everyone has a limit to their patience. No matter how hard you try to do the right thing all the time, you have a limit. Everyone has their limit. Jobe: In some parts of the Maritimes, this is normal. People don't get power on a consistent basis. Would you be able to deal with this on a daily basis, if you were to live in these certain areas? SP: What do you mean, in the Maritimes, there's no power? Jobe: Well, no, not all the Maritimes, in certain parts of the Maritimes. SP: What are you talking about, I'm from the Maritimes. Where is there no power in the Maritimes? Jobe (stammering): Well, like in Labrador, parts of northern Labrador. SP: Ahh, you mean Newfoundland. Who the hell knows that? Is that part of Quebec or is that part of Newfoundland? Jobe: Well, would you be able to deal with this on a daily basis, do you think? SP: You know, everybody in this lineup would be able to. If you had to, you would adapt. I find that people are very resilient. What you should be asking, go ask the politicians why we're paying them these big fat god-damn salaries and these big fat pensions and they can't make sure that there wouldn't be a backup system that would guarantee us... Jobe: That we're provided with the basic necessities of life? SP: Exactly. In the meantime, we have something like this. Everybody's pointing fingers. We're blaming the Americans, the Americans are blaming us. That way, nobody gets blamed. It's a whole crock. There's no major backup to prevent something like this from happening. There must be a fundamental flaw in the whole grid system when you have 50 million people subjected to this and I blame it on the politicians. They're supposed to be our representatives and making sure we're being looked after. That's why we give them the big dollars, and this is what they've led us to. Jobe: Do you think they should make this an annual holiday to commemorate the big blackout of 2003? SP: No, I think what they should do is make every politician work one extra day a week. I think they serve a purpose but they're not serving the purpose they're getting paid for in this particular case. Jobe: How about a concert to raise money for the families of the victims? It would have to be an acoustic set of course. Who knows when we'll have power again? But we could get Billy Bragg and Gordon Lightfoot, Joni Mitchell, maybe Bob Dylan... Is Tiny Tim still alive? SP (chuckling): You couldn't pay me to go see him. -outside heartless American coffee retailer- Jobe: How are you coping with the blackout? Wayne Venne: Well, I didn't have to go work today so that was nice. I'm just happy to relax, so actually it's been very good. Jobe: So you're one of those people who look at the blackout as if the glass is half full rather than half empty? WV: Well, there's nothing I can do about it, and rather than complicate my life by trying to get a lot of things done, I just chose to do a few things. I got food, I got money just in case. I need gas but I'll wait until tomorrow. Jobe: Do you think people are expecting things would have been back to normal by now? WV: I think the power's slowly coming back. I was surprised mine came back that quickly. I thought it would be an awful lot longer, so I have nothing to complain about. For the most part, people have been really good. Jobe: Did you do anything unusual last night? WV: I looked at the stars. I couldn't believe it. It was the first time I'd seen stars in Toronto in a long time. I felt like I was up at the cottage, and it was so quiet. Jobe: I was doing the same thing. I thought I spotted a UFO but it turns out it was just Venus. WV: I was hoping I would see a shooting star but I didn't. Jobe: I saw a few actually right after sunset. It's too bad the blackout didn't happen a day earlier. The Perseid meteor shower was supposed to be at its peak yesterday. WV: I'm just taking it easy. Hopefully, it'll get better by tomorrow, so I can get a few more things like get gas. Jobe: You wouldn't be willing to wait in a lineup like that today? (I pointed toward Yonge Street where a lineup of about 20 cars was waiting to turn into the Esso station.) WV: It depends how bad I need it. I don't really need it right now. Jobe: How about price of gas? Is that going to be a consideration too in whether or not you get gas? I know some of the gas companies have decided to jack up the prices quite a bit and take advantage of the situation. WV: That's kind of sad. Jobe: Yeah, it is. I guess we know who the real criminals are in society. If you saw an Esso truck driving up to refill the station pumps or raising the price of gas, would you try to mob the truck or slash the tires or anything like that? WV: No, nothing like that. -On Yonge Street, about 30 metres away from Esso station- Jobe: How long have you been waiting in line here? Ray Kanji: This is nothing. I went all the way up to Markham and it was a 3-hour wait everywhere, so we just took off. This is a short line. Jobe: Is this reasonably cheap gas though, considering? RK: It's 70 cents here, but a lot of other gas stations are 99 cents a litre. Some are closed off just for government and ambulances. Jobe: Are you going try to get up to the cottage today? RK: No, my brother is. I'm not. I've got other plans. Jobe: Are you enjoying your day off so far? Mario Renzi: Yeah, it's been nice. Nice day for it. I could be sweating my ass off at work instead (snickers). Jobe: How has the blackout affected your daily routine? Did your wife have to leave your house to make you breakfast this morning? Did you have to go without a shower? MR: No, I had a shower, just a short one. Jobe: Did you wash your car as well? It's looking pretty clean. MR: No, I'm trying to conserve water and electricity like everyone else. They say the power could go off again any time, so I don't want to use more than I need until the problem is solved. Jobe: Have you had a tough time adjusting to the situation? MR: Not really, my father owns a bakery, so he brought home some bread and water and meat. One of my friends has a pool. I'll be alright. Jobe: Good to hear. So tell me something, did you have a lot of sex last night? It was a pretty long night after all. MR: I always have a lot of sex. I don't need to wait for a blackout. Jobe: I don't doubt it. So what was her name? Did you get her name? MR: What kind of questions are these? I'm married. I'm talking about my wife. Jobe: Don't worry, I'm just teasing. I guess I'll be back around to congratulate the two of you next May. _/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_ house-sitting by Rank Swiney _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ \"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._ _.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/ " " " " " " " """"" " " " " " " " house-sitting: my uncle and step aunt's bungalow/house. feeding one fish in a twenty gallon tank. waaater foool, you deserve better, but whooo deserves worse- nursing a tea bag, thinking it has had too many lives, but I'm still on my first one. everything's flat after Halifax and the tall, tall ships. lying on the wooden planks, the water lapping below, like Agate drinking from his dog dish. the neighbours' dogs bark their fleas out. Walkman on. I dance the strange rooms never picking up the phone, sleep in somebody's bed, verbally communicate with the refrigerator, inspire its light, confound its magnets. my head pressed to the glass, I tell Beattie, the only fish in my sea, 'bout my sister's black hair. _/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_ Fucking on the Phone '03 by BMC _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ \"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._ _.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/ " " " " " " " """"" " " " " " " " Four o'clock in the afternoon and I've been up for half an hour. I know it's only been a month since we met, but for the past few weeks I've been loving intravenously. I watch some TV but then there's that milk commercial with that song that makes me cry. I read a book, but I hear her voice in the words. I search the internet, but every naked girl looks like her. I miss her. The phone rings. "Iulia" I guess. She calls from hot Florida, talking about her mound as I wrap the phone cord around my aching body. We fuck for hours. I ask if she is having fun. Florida is a bowl of cooked pudding, cooled skin on top, warm viscous fluid inside. Iulia's dad asks her not to run the calling card up too much. If I were him, I would take advantage of proximity and lay her proper. She says goodbye she loves me, hangs up. Pants still unbuttoned, I adjust my smock and brush something onto canvas. A secret message to be read over a candle's flame. .-. .-. / \ .-. .-. / \ / \ / \ .-. _ .-. / \ / \ `-------\-------/-----\-----/---\---/-\---/---\-----/-----\-------/-------' \ / \ / `-' `-' \ / \ / \ / `-' `-' \ / `-' `-' The Neo-Comintern Magazine / Online Magazine is seeking submissions. Unpublished stories and articles of an unusual, experimental, or anti-capitalist nature are wanted. Contributors are encouraged to submit works incorporating any or all of the following: Musings, Delvings into Philosophy, Flights of Fancy, Freefall Selections, and Tales of General Mirth. The more creative and astray from the norm, the better. For examples of typical Neo-Comintern writing, see our website at . Submissions of 25-4000 words are wanted; the average article length is approximately 200-1000 words. Send submissions via email attachment to , or through ICQ to #29981964. Contributors will receive copies of the most recent print issue of The Neo-Comintern; works of any length and type will be considered for publication in The Neo-Comintern Online Magazine and/or The Neo-Comintern Magazine. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .--/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\--. `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' ___________________________________________________ | THE COMINTERN IS AVAILABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBSES | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | TWILIGHT ZONE (905) 432-7667 | | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| | Website at: http://www.neo-comintern.com | | Questions? Comments? Submissions? | | Email BMC at bmc@neo-comintern.com | |___________________________________________________| | The Current Text Scene : http://www.textscene.com | |___________________________________________________| .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .--/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\---/---\--. `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' copyright 2003 by #252-08/31/03 the neo-comintern All content is property of The Neo-Comintern. You may redistribute this document, although no fee can be charged and the content must not be altered or modified in any way. Unauthorized use of any part of this document is prohibited. All rights reserved. Made in Canada. By Canadians. And a couple Others.