,,ggddY""""Ybbgg,, ,agd""' `""bg, T H E N E O - C O M I N T E R N ,gdP" "Ybg, ,dP" ""` ,dP" _,,ddP"""Ybb,,_ .s*""*s .s*"*s. ,8" .+$ '""' `"Yb, .P' $ `.d' `b ,8' .+$$$$ssss+. sssss "'d' .sssP d' `b db. ,8' .+$$$$$$$$$$$$$$+. $$$$$ d' ,P' d' s*s $ d' `b d.+$$$$$$$$$$$$$$`*$$$$+.$$$$$$$$$ $ :$ d'.P .Pd' $ _ 8`*$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ o`*$$$$$$$$ T. `b. :$ TsP .Pd' $ .+P"*+. 8 `*$$$$$$$$$$$ OOb.`*$$$$$ T. `^**sT. .Pd' . $ .+P' :P 8 `*$$$$ YOOOObooi `b. $ T. .P'd' .P $P' .P' 8 `*$ "OQQQO" `TsggsP `TssP' d' .PT. . .P' Y, i. aP ,P d .P :$b+.d' .P' `8, "Ya aP" ,8' d; .P .d' .P' `8, "Yb,_ _,dP" ,8' `*TP .d' .P' `8a `""YbbgggddP""' a8' d; .P' `Yba adP' `*TP' "Yba adY" `"Yba, ,adP"' `"Y8ba, ,ad8P"' E L E C T R O N I C M A G A Z I N E ``""YYbaaadPP""'' .-. t h e l i t e r a r y m o l o t o v c o c k t a i l .-. / \ .-. .-. / \ / \ / \ .-. _ .-. / \ / \ `-------\-------/-----\-----/---\---/-\---/---\-----/-----\-------/-------' \ / \ / `-' `-' \ / \ / \ / `-' `-' \ / `-' I N S T A L L M E N T N U M B E R 2 7 9 `-' J U L Y 4 , 2 0 0 4 B M C , E D I T O R - I N - C H I E F FEATURED IN THIS INSTALLMENT: Confessions of an X-Hat Guy - Tapmo sorority night - trilobyte Baked Potato - BMC _/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_ EDITOR'S KNOWTE Hey pals! Here's a brand-new N-Com to satisfy your reading desires. First article by Tapmo is a yin to ada's yang. ada had her hat stolen in issue #202 , and Tapmo seems to be picking it up two years later. Congratulations, Tapmo. The new day is yours. I'm not sure what to say about trilobyte. I never do. My story, my story. I wrote it for a "baked potato" theme issue for angstmonster . It's about baked potatos. I love you. I love you all. BOOM BOOM enjoy your magazine. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ \"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._ _.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/ " " " " " " " """"" " " " " " " " _/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_ Confessions of an X-Hat Guy by Tapmo _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ \"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._ _.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/ " " " " " " " """"" " " " " " " " I wish I was a hat guy. I would give anything to be a hat guy. I cannot see you unless I do it as a hat guy. I will not succeed without being a hat guy. I will have no friends unless I am a hat guy. I will not be happy unless I am a hat guy. I can think of nothing but being a hat guy. I know it will not happen, but I can't let it go. My black and blue hat, picture it. Something a fashionable scarecrow would wear. I'm scared now. Isn't it funny that hat guys never know they are hat guys? They're too busy wearing hats: wearing them frontwards, backwards, skewed, straight, loose, tight. They think, "I'm not a hat guy per se, I'm just trying to wear this hat." The world is their dressing mirror, and every face confirms their hopes: "Yes, you are a hat guy." Maybe you were sending me some signal while my hat was being eaten by moths in the corner. I never heard it. I was worrying about my hat. How could I know that a good slap in my face and an empty room would have been the best thing to save us all, save us intact I mean. I'm so afraid of the half-life of my hat, the lingering punishments, I cannot refer to it as anything but a hat. Don't trust anyone with a hat. They don't care for anything but their hat. And I should know, I was once a hat guy. I'm leaving pretty soon, I hope. I'm leaving to find my hat. Maybe in some foreign room I can fish it out from under some couch, or find it squashed under someone's ass on the floor, or in a bedroom where everything is so close you can't see what it is. When inquiring about who I love, maybe what should replace who. Maybe I was confusing people with my hat all along. Don't stand next to a hat person, or they will fall in love with you. _/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_ sorority night by trilobyte _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ \"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._ _.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/ " " " " " " " """"" " " " " " " " mrs. patterson 2761 n. forest park way chicago suburbia, IL 60619 dear mom, how are you? i am fine. i got through my test in biology and i am pleased with the results. i have not gotten the scores back, but i'm pretty sure that i've done okay. remember that party i told you about in my last e-mail? we threw that two nights ago. it was a great time! i'll tell you all about it. i'm sure it will bring back memories from the old days :) we threw it at a place out on the outskirts of urbana, next to some farmland. there's some bar out there that's got a lot of baseball fields and other sporting stuff. i don't know, i don't go out there ever, but i bet lots of people go out there during the summer. we rented out one-half of the bar for $300. not a bad deal! they had a DJ space and some good dancing space! me & the sisters rented a bus and headed out there together -- there was no other way we were going to do it! the rules, as i told you before, were that we were going to invite a few guys apiece, and then we'd have our pick of the litter between us :) some sisters invited their own friends, and some guys invited their own friends, but it was a largely friendly environment. as the night got going, i stopped worrying about the organizational matters and got on with partying. a lot of guys were checking me out -- i bet it was my outfit! i looked really cute. you've seen it! i wore it the last friday night i was in town -- this is the first time i've worn it since then! the guys were all cute and seemed to be having fun. i danced with a guy named pat and he was very sweet! he asked me my name and didn't request any other information. he and i "got down" to naughty by nature, that's a rap group, and then he grabbed my ass! i liked it a lot. i sat at the bar with pat until sara caught his eye :(. that's okay, though, because alan was there! he walked in while i was dancing with pat so i went to talk to him. he wanted to dance too! he's a better dancer than pat. by this time i'd had quite a few shots so i couldn't tell if he was really dancing well or if i'd just made it all up! he made out with me on the dance floor and he was a very good kisser. i gave him my phone number and he promised that he'd call later -- we'll get to that in a minute! after alan left me alone i looked around and saw that two of my sisters were dancing and talking to each other, so i joined in. by this time, they were playing madonna! i was very excited. i walked over and we all danced together, and then three guys came up and started dancing with us. it was soooo great! i could see the guys checking out my outfit and i knew that i'd picked the right clothes! i love guys. one of them was named david and he's a law student. he is going to email me in the next week and we will "hook up." you know what that means! who knows, it could lead to something! at least, i *hope* we will hook up. maybe we won't. but i'm looking forward to it! i think i impressed him! i don't remember a whole lot after this, but my sorority sisters were nice enough to clue me in. i guess i was running liquor runs for most of my friends for a while, and talking to various people. social butterfly! i guess i get it from you :) at one point i guess i turned down a few advances from random guys but it doesn't matter. i'd already met my queue -- if there had been a sorry -- my sister jerri just came in for a cigarette. i don't have any of course, because i don't smoke! i don't know what she was thinking. she's known me for months! anyway, sorry. if there had been a contest i would've won, or come close to winning. i already had a good two or three quality prospects so i just started dancing with anybody. my sisters saw me dancing with at least eight different guys! i guess one of them even got kicked out of the place for stealing two dollars off the bar! i don't remember a whole lot more, honestly, but i know i woke up at a very nice man's house the next day. he was a cute, cute boy. such nice arms! and a business major... i'm going to call him in the coming weeks, his name was peter. i love you a lot, wish you were here! love, shauna _/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"-._/"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_.-"\_ Baked Potato by BMC _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ \"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._\"-._ _.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/_.-"/ " " " " " " " """"" " " " " " " " The potato was almost baked. One tasty tuber, wrapped in foil, on a grill over a fire pit, outside the tent, in the forest, somewhere on the Athabasca. It was a nice hot day. It hadn't rained in weeks. There were no mosquitoes around, except for one, and it was stretching out under a shady tree. All that was left was one potato. They never caught any fish like they'd planned, so they just ended up eating everything they'd brought. One potato between all three of them. Two men rested in the tent after a good meal. They closed their eyes and dreamed about which direction was home. Outside, the fire still burned, cozy, crackling red hot, under the grill a human head, burning hair, filling the forest with sick fumes, something like the way Nagasaki smelled. .-. .-. / \ .-. .-. / \ / \ / \ .-. _ .-. / \ / \ `-------\-------/-----\-----/---\---/-\---/---\-----/-----\-------/-------' \ / \ / `-' `-' \ / \ / \ / `-' `-' \ / `-' `-' The Neo-Comintern Magazine / Online Magazine is seeking submissions. Unpublished stories and articles of an unusual, experimental, or anti-capitalist nature are wanted. Contributors are encouraged to submit works incorporating any or all of the following: Musings, Delvings into Philosophy, Flights of Fancy, Freefall Selections, and Tales of General Mirth. The more creative and astray from the norm, the better. For examples of typical Neo-Comintern writing, see our website at . Submissions of 25-4000 words are wanted; the average article length is approximately 200-1000 words. Send submissions via email attachment to , or through ICQ to #29981964. 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