-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- @O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O Suburban Terrorism Online Rap and Roll Preservationists @O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O This Issue: Droppin Ignorance Book the First OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO EDITOR'S NOTE "Let us begin. What where why or when?"- KRX-1 This is the special "droppin ignorance" installment of our new newsletter, "Suburban Terrorism Online." Since we have dropped the deadweight that was known as "The Neo-Comintern," we have decided to draw new crowds in with our picket-fence fear-inspiring words. Today is the dizzay where we point out instances of rappers droppin' ignorance, and hopefully correct their mizznizztakez. Wrod. -*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+- DROPPIN IGNORANCE By BMC and DJ Gnarly Wayne -*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+- "Three words for the wack, stay the hell back!" - Kool Moe Dee, "Way Way Back" * Stay the hell back is four words, Moe Dewese, not three. "So you can burn the motherfucker down for all I care, CAUSE Tee-shirts and Khakis is all I wear!" - Eazy E, "Niggaz My Height Don't Fight" * Now that the E is dead, there's no way we can ever ask him how the clothes he wore affected his opinion on The White House. "As we enter into the third half..." - Big Daddy Kane, "Git Bizzy" * This is horrible error in Big Daddy's mathematics. He should taken a course in Nigganometry. "If a bitch sucks yo dick at 5 dollars per square inch...." - Canibus, "Nigganometry" * Hey, according to the science of nigganometry, you can measure three dimensional objects in terms of two dimensional measurements. Why not just use the one dimensional inch if you're not going to use cubic measurements. At least we would know that you were talking about length and not have to guess whether the second measurement was height, breadth, or, God forbid, the surface area of a skinned penis. "Yo, which way should we go, this way or that?" "Yo, it doesn't even matter, let's just get outta here." - Whodini, "Haunted House of Rock" * If there was only two ways to choose on an escape route, it seems to me that you would have to choose one in order to actually get anywhere. You can't just fucking sit there and think you will somehow escape. cd\piznorn oops "Who gets laid, the chicken or the egg?" - D-Nice, "Crumbs On The Table" * Though this may be D-Nice's take on the eternal, "Which came first?" it is actually stupid, and is neither a paradox, nor anything mildly interesting or amusing. "I love you more than a man who is ten feet tall..." - L.L. Cool J., "I Need Love" * I don't see how being a ten foot high freak loves anymore or any less than a normal person. According to A.G.I.A.N.T., he is capable of loving just as much as a six or even five foot person. "You know frankly I think this cut is kinda musical" - King Tee, "Guitar Playing" * No shit, King Tee. Thanks for being frank with me. "Wake up! Take the pillow from your head .. and put a book in it!" - KRX-ONE, "Blackman in Effect" * First off, is this alleged pillow actually attached to my head or is it inside my head? Second, should a put a book in my head or in my pillow? If I put in my pillow, what will this accomplish? If I put it in my head, I would surely die if it was a hard cover, because there is not enough room for a brain AND a book in my head. Maybe a soft cover could squeeze around the edges of my brain, but I doubt it. "He whistled for a cab and waited for a minute, and when the cab came, he thrusted me in it." - Slick Dead, erh, I mean Slick Rick, "Mona Lisa" * According to the song, Slick Rick seems totally suprised when his friend takes him away from Mona. Still, he has a WHOLE minute in which to react before the cab comes. A lot can be done in a minute, like getting away. "I want you, but first close the curtains." "He closed the curtains, and also the doors" - Slick Rick, "An Adult Story" Though this is a fictional story, if the curtains and doors were all open, wouldn't you be more likely to ask for the doors to be closed? If you closed the curtains, but not the doors, bad things could happen. That's why I choose answer D. Better freshen up on your nigganometry, MC Ricky Dee! "I know a man named Hank, he has more rhymes than a serious bank" - Master Gee, "Rapper's Delight" * I really, really just don't get this. Not only does this bank deal with the currency of rhymes(I suppose it's the native currency of Bass Island), but it is also a serious bank. Most banks, I guess, are foolish, with clowns and high wire acts. "Ima come and kill yo muthafuckin ass, you know what i'm sayin? PEACE!" - King Tee, "Introduction" * I have never heard murder being described as "peaceful" before, but I guess I'll just have to take King Tee's word on this one. If the rest of you are like me, you probably never learned anything in high school. Well, one of the few things I did learn was how to foil characters in stories and compare their strengths and weakness against other characters. Well, what if we selected certain rappers and foiled their faults against their own weaknesses. Example: "true lyrics will always suffice. And REAL, meaning `rhymes equal actual life'" - KRX-One, "KRS-One Speech" "me drivin a car cross country, with a hundred guns and about 6 G" - KRX-One, "100 Guns" Which one is the true KRX, and which is the imposter? Answers on page three. *Bonus Game* Compare the first tracks on each side of Slick Ricks's first album and try to figure out what kind of rapper Rick is. FIN -*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Issue #1 January 12th, 1999