-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
                                                                            
                             
@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O

                          Suburban Terrorism Online
                        Rap and Roll Preservationists

@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O0@O

                                 This Issue:
                   Review of "I Though U Knew" by Candyman

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


Session Start: Mon Apr 21 19:03:32 2003
<TheBMC> Yo.
<TheBMC> Welcome, everyone, to issue 18 of Suburban Terrorism Online.
<Wiznane> Hi!
<TheBMC> In this issue we're going to be reviewing an album by rap 
superstar Candyman.
<TheBMC> The album is called "I Thought U Knew"
<Wiznane> *nod*
<TheBMC> Note that he uses the letter U instead of the word "You"
<Wiznane> This shows his steet knowledge of self.
<TheBMC> In this article we are going to attampt to do a real-time review 
of this album, making as many comments as we can while we listen to each 
track.
<TheBMC> You can download the album and read this article as you listen to 
the album.
<TheBMC> You just might learn a thing or two.
<TheBMC> Now Wizzo, would you like to say a few words about the cover 
before we start listening?
<Wiznane> Indeed.  First off, we can see that Candyman has been doing very 
well for himself to be able to afford his own personalized zeppelin.
<TheBMC> Yes, where one might expect the word "Goodyear," the zeppelin in 
fact says "Candyman"
<TheBMC> There is also a digital sign on the zeppelin, reading "I thought U 
Knew"
<Wiznane> But one has to wonder why isn't Candyman in his zeppelin?  A 
mutany perhaps (after listening to this album) ???  So many questions that 
will hopefully be answered within the album.
<Wiznane> What does his shirt say?  Karlton Jeans?
<TheBMC> Candyman stands in the foreground of the shot, looking at us, 
pointing over his shoulder at the zeppelin in the background, as if to say 
"I thought you knew"
<TheBMC> It looks like KALN JEANS, but some of the letters are obscured.
<Wiznane> He's also gained about 40 pounds.
<TheBMC> He's leaning on some rusted-out railing with a cityscape in the 
background and a fake zeppelin pasted into the sky behind him.
<Wiznane> It's imagery showing how Candyman has kept it real all these 
years.  I'm ready to move into the first track, BMC.  How's about you?
<TheBMC> But who do you think he's going to dedicate this album to?
<Wiznane> Mmmmmmm.... tha ladies!
<TheBMC> Yes, yes.  Let's go into it.  RIght before you press play, send a 
message saying "go"
<Wiznane> go
<TheBMC> ok we've got a funk sample and some R&B fuckin singers in the god 
damned breaks
<Wiznane> Starting off on the positive tip...
<TheBMC> This song is called "Wat Eva U Lyke"
<TheBMC> Candyman cannot spell
<TheBMC> he promises "Sex does a body good"
<Wiznane> Really?  I'm listening to Skinz on Deck. lol
<TheBMC> lol ok wait.  stop
<TheBMC> can we try again?
<TheBMC> I accidentally started track 3.
<TheBMC> just say go
<Wiznane> Okay.
<Wiznane> go
<TheBMC> Sounds like a good Jackson 5 sample.
<TheBMC> "keep a girl in check that you know you can wreck"  I like that 
motto.
<Wiznane> Candyman probably wants to see all their nightgowns.
<TheBMC> This song informs the listener how to manipulate women.  
<Wiznane> and to basically ignore your woman if she's annoying you because 
you can always hit up another one.
<TheBMC> Verse two, he talks to the women and tries to convince them to 
keep their men at home.
<Wiznane> It is good advice for the 90's.
<TheBMC> And then goes back to telling men to ditch their girlfriends if 
they display jealousy.
<TheBMC> Candyman's advice, if followed to the letter, will result in the 
ruin of all relationships.
<TheBMC> Track 2: Sex It Up
<Wiznane> Sounds a bit like Digital Underground.
<TheBMC> Word is bond.
<TheBMC> He's smooth like CL so he has to reminisce.
<Wiznane> This is another song where Candyman is basically telling us to 
fall prey to our sex vice and just get it whenever you want.
<Wiznane> I like how rhymes endo with Nintendo.  That is fresh and new.
<TheBMC> Hey, but hwe rhymes nintendo with window, so that's hot.
<TheBMC> He seems to be rapping like the fu shnickens here but he's not 
really good enough to pull it off.
<Wiznane> He mentions nintendo again and rhymes it with endo again.
<Wiznane> Maybe he was tired when he wrote this song.
<TheBMC> This album is from 93, I see.
<Wiznane> Yep yep.
<TheBMC> This sounds like music that Daddy Rich would mix.
<TheBMC> It's weak, baby.
<Wiznane> Now we move onto Track 3: Wat Eva U Lyke
<TheBMC> But that 3rd Bass shit was the bomb.
<Wiznane> Showing off the Candyman's Engrish skillz.
<TheBMC> This uses the same music that the song with MC Skat Cat used.
<TheBMC> Young, Dumb, and full of Uh-Umm
<Wiznane> "Sex does the body good."
<Wiznane> especially the STDs you can get.
<TheBMC> Candyman explains that as his ideal girlfriend
<TheBMC> i find myself hoping that mc skat cat will appear in verse 2
<Wiznane> I find myself hoping that MC Skat Cat will appear and replace 
Candyman for the rest of the album.
<TheBMC> he keeps talking about ripping in a sexual context.  this is kind 
of scary
<TheBMC> he's like candy in the sense that he likes to rip people to shreds 
as he makes love to them
<TheBMC> and he does not melt in the hand, as we learned before
<TheBMC> track 4:
<TheBMC> Candyman, do me right
<Wiznane> Ahhh... this track seems pretty smooth.
<TheBMC> i sit around in my 5 cornered room
<TheBMC> it's not the music from my mind's playing tricks on me, but it is 
similar
<TheBMC> ok.  what is this song about?
<Wiznane> I have no idea.  But the password to get backstage is actually a 
couple of verses being sung.
<TheBMC> do you like this song?
<Wiznane> "I still know how to treat a lady..."  As is evident from the 
first track.
<Wiznane> I don't like the singing or the Candyman parts or the beat or 
bass, but those guitar licks are kewl.
<TheBMC> my favourite part of this album so far is the pauses between the 
songs
<TheBMC> and the advice on how to be a better lover
<Wiznane> There is a funky break 2:30 into the song that makes me want to 
bump it in my '89 Dodge Aries.
<TheBMC> how many minutes in are you?
<Wiznane> 4:00
<TheBMC> somehow you got a munite ahead of me
<Wiznane> I'm confused.  Is Candyman a womanizer or what?
<Wiznane> I'll pause.
<TheBMC> the woman in the chorus begs "treat me like a ho"
<Wiznane> I'm paused at 4:30
<TheBMC> no no!
<TheBMC> I caught up to you.
<Wiznane> k
<TheBMC> ok, let's start track 5: first date at the same time
<TheBMC> ok?
<Wiznane> Track 5: First Date.   This should be good.
<Wiznane> yep
<TheBMC> go
<TheBMC> it starts off with a nice fill, and goes down from there
<Wiznane> Another song about how Candyman wants sex.
<TheBMC> "you don't have to prove a point by holding out on the first date"
<TheBMC> and he informs the girl that she is 17... which is admirable
<TheBMC> Candyman is about 39
<Wiznane> lol
<TheBMC> he's getting her drunk of hennessee while playing quarters with 
her.  that is illegal.
<Wiznane> I have a feeling Candyman doesn't really care.
<TheBMC> and the marvin gayew sample from let's get it on is a nice touch.  
"giving yourself to me could never be wrong"
<TheBMC> not even when it's illegal
<Wiznane> "When it comes to making whoppee, I'm grrrrreat!"
<TheBMC> when it comes to makin whoopee I'm GRRRRRRRReat!
<TheBMC> lol
<Wiznane> Don't only 39 year olds call sex whopee?
<TheBMC> best line in the album so far, in the sense that it is the worst
<TheBMC> i would love to say that to a girl on a first date
<TheBMC> track 6: Just Like Candy
<TheBMC> i'll rip ya ta shreds just like candy
<TheBMC> good time to start cussin
<TheBMC> this is his song where he challenges all MCs.
<TheBMC> his sexual appetite has finally been satisfied after 5 tracks
<Wiznane> "2 legit 2 switch"  ouch!
<TheBMC> i wonder who this is dedicated to
<Wiznane> Probably T-Fly.
<TheBMC> i wish we could skip forward over this track.  the things we do 
for STO
<Wiznane> "while I eat my Tender Vittles"  Those are for cats, Candyman, 
not people!
<TheBMC> DO you think his recording studio is in a zeppelin?
<Wiznane> Sounds like it.
<TheBMC> But the sax is hot.
<TheBMC> Even if it's sped up to 200% speed.
<Wiznane> Track 7: Life Goes On
<TheBMC> ok, that track is finally over
<Wiznane> Starts off terrible.
<TheBMC> Life Goes ON... after track 6, that is a relief.
<TheBMC> No way, this singing is GRRRRRRReat!
<TheBMC> "I used to run from my problems"
<Wiznane> This almost sounds like a anti-drug song, but we'll see if he's 
hitting those blunts by the end of it.
<TheBMC> wow, candyman's love of his life left him?  i wonder why.
<Wiznane> lol
<TheBMC> maybe because iof that "interview" he did with right on
<Wiznane> "A grown man weeps like child,  because the world is fowl."
<Wiznane> or maybe he said wild.
<TheBMC> remember when t-fly smoked a joint in john rondo riviera's studio?
<Wiznane> Yes.... yes I do.
<TheBMC> i wonder if candyman sent him to rehab after that
<Wiznane> He probably just played this song... instant rehabilitation!
<TheBMC> "life goes on anyway"
<TheBMC> track 7 has hot music.
<Wiznane> OH MAN! I can already tell this is the best song on the whole 
album  (world?)
<TheBMC> "Don't Cry, Dry Your Eye"  I wonder if there will be a slick rick 
sample
<TheBMC> yep
<Wiznane> There had better be.
<Wiznane> yep
<TheBMC> wow, what a bad sample to use for a chorus
<TheBMC> but this song is the bomb.
<Wiznane> But the woooooooooooooooooo awooooooooooo makes up for it.
<Wiznane> You can't even pay attention to the lyrics with great music like 
this.
<TheBMC> yeah.  I might keep this song.  "I'ma buy her whatever it takes to 
get drunk"
<Wiznane> Try alcohol, Candyman.  I hear that works.
<TheBMC> "i don't want to take you to a movie show when i can take you to 
my house and watch a video"
<TheBMC> "this is how i run it down the line" a sample I've heard in "down 
the line" by nice and smooth
<Wiznane> "even if you're Puerto Rican we can get to freakin'"  It's good 
that he's not all that racist.
<Wiznane> I guess all those Puerto Rican girls wouldn't even try to get to 
tha Candyman if he didn't have that line in there.
<TheBMC> it looks like there's a part at the end where you could rip the 
sample and put your own freestyle over it
<Wiznane> Track 9: Return of the Candyman
<TheBMC> How noble to return after the first 8 albums.
<TheBMC> 8 songs, i mean.
<TheBMC> shouldn't you return at the BEGINNING of the album?
<TheBMC> how do you return when you're already here
<TheBMC> this song is only rivaled by the return of the crazy one.
<Wiznane> This song sounds very "at the last minute" slapped together.
<TheBMC> but there is a hot dana dane sample
<Wiznane> lol... I thought of Return of the Crazy One as well.
<TheBMC> luckily, there are only two songs after this.
<TheBMC> candyman is the only rapper who ever responded to my email.
<TheBMC> I ebt if we'd offered him 100 bucks he would have rappd with us.
<Wiznane> Totally, even though the flight up here would have cost him way 
more than that.
<Wiznane> And the hotel (because we wouldn't let him stay with us).
<TheBMC> he would have just recorded it without a bat or anything like PDW 
did.
<Wiznane> Kinda like this album.
<TheBMC> i'd book him a room at the salvation army
<Wiznane> Did you know Candyman has a "Platinum Hits" album out?
<TheBMC> this track reminds me a bit of nightgown... the title track
<TheBMC> I THOUGHT U KNEW!
<Wiznane> yeah, the bassline is very recycled.
<TheBMC> This song sucks, except for the synthezised guitar.
<Wiznane> Ima 187 it!    YESH!
<TheBMC> He has a platinum hits album?  really?  Did he ever have a hit of 
any kind?
<TheBMC> I haven't heard a good guitar synth since "The Best" by Kool Moe 
Dee
<Wiznane> I like how he thinks everyone knew he was like this.  He show be 
happy anyone decided to listen to this album.
<TheBMC> This song is preety bad.
<Wiznane> I think I might have just dreamed about the platinum hits album. 
But I think he did release some more albums after this.
<Wiznane> Could research it up, but.... it's Candyman.
<TheBMC> Ok.  We're almost at the last song.
<Wiznane> This proves that there is a God.
<TheBMC> It's got the most ironic title on the album.
<Wiznane> Track 10: Get Respect.
<Wiznane> Track 11, my bad.
<TheBMC> The one thing that Candyman will never do in his life.
<Wiznane> I hope that's T-Fly.
<TheBMC> He's talking on this one.  Yes.  please don't rap.
<TheBMC> Oh, the possee track.
<Wiznane> Lots of swearing makes for a better track,
<TheBMC> The first rapper is better than Candyman.
<TheBMC> I hope they use the word "shit" in every line
<TheBMC> the second rapper is better than candyman.
<Wiznane> I wonder if any of these guys released solo albums.
<TheBMC> Third rapper is pretty bad, but also better than Candyman.
<TheBMC> I'd get all their albums, just in case Candyman is featured on one 
track.
<TheBMC> What if the last rapper was Eazy-E in a secret recording...
<TheBMC> The best verse of his career.
<Wiznane> "I'ma kick it like a Trojan"  what does that mean?  Are they a 
soccer team?
<TheBMC> Fourth rapper is yet worse... but still, amazingly, better than 
Candyman.
<Wiznane> Shit, Candyman is going to rhyme now.
<TheBMC> Fifth rapper is his older brother.  this isn't good at all... 
but...
<TheBMC> wow, the sixth rapper is the worst of all.
<TheBMC> And it's candyman.
<TheBMC> After hearing this song, do you think Candyman deserves the 
respect he requests?
<Wiznane> Well, let's all take a deep breath........... and release.  It's 
over now..... it's all over.
<Wiznane> A difficult question to answer.
<Wiznane> No.
<TheBMC> Can you think of any albums you own that you value less than this 
one?
<Wiznane> Mr. Lee?
<TheBMC> p.s. I'm listening to Don't Cry again
<TheBMC> I can think of a couple...
<TheBMC> Son of Bazerk
<TheBMC> Low Profile
<Wiznane> MCJ & Cool G or whoever.
<TheBMC> CPO
<Wiznane> College Boyz
<TheBMC> Rappenstein
<Wiznane> He's just kidding about the Rappenstein, folks.
<TheBMC> Well, if they had an EP for "Scream," I'd value that more than 
this album.
<Wiznane> Yeah, all in all, it's a pretty boring album.  Nothing 
outstanding at all.  Not even a skit!
<TheBMC> Nope.  Compared to his first album, or practically any other album 
i've ever heard, it's a disappointment.
<Wiznane> That's what usually happens with the older, most obscure 
rappers.  They release one good/great album and then don't stick to the 
formula.
<TheBMC> But DOn't Cry, Dry Your Eye is good for a couple of listens, just 
for the music.  But as soon as you get to the point where you want to 
listen to the lyrics, it starts getting pretty shitty.
<TheBMC> Candyman probably had a better producer for the first album.
<Wiznane> Yeah, I think I'll be keeping that song and the others will 
probably get deleted fairly soon.
<Wiznane> He probably produced this one himself.  He couldn't afford a 
producer or an engineer because he spent all his money on that damn 
zeppelin.
<TheBMC> I think I'm just going to loop the last 10 seconds of the song and 
use it for a Sunshine Squad or something.
<TheBMC> He should change his zeppelin message from "I Thought U Knew" to 
"Producer Wanted"
<Wiznane> Do you think we should try to get his 2002 album and review 
that?  Can you IMAGINE how bad it would be?  CAN YOU EVEN CONCEIVE OF THE 
NOTION?!?!
<TheBMC> In "DOn't Cry" he says that he keeps wine chilling in the icebox.  
I think it's cool that he never decided to buy a refrigerator after the 
technology came along
<Wiznane> He's old school man.
<TheBMC> Yeah, I'm up to review the new album.
<Wiznane> I'll see if I can find it.
<TheBMC> So are we done this review?  Anything else we want to add?
<Wiznane> Okay, are we done here?
<Wiznane> Nope, I feel all dirty.  Think I'll take a shower and dry my 
eyes.
<TheBMC> Readers, please don't buy this album.
<TheBMC> It shouldn't be hard, since probably less than 1000 cpoies were 
made.
<Wiznane> And Candyman, if you're listen....... Youuuu can beeee my 
Caaaandyyymaaaaann.... whoa whoa whoa whoaaaa.... cuz I really know 
youuuuuu caaaaaaareee.
<TheBMC> Word.
<Wiznane> Peace.
Session Close: Mon Apr 21 20:04:02 2003



-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Issue #18 April 21th, 2003